Session 1
Reflection Questions
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What has been your personal experience relative to facing conflict in your ministry?
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How are societal issues impacting the level of tension and conflict that you and your congregation are experiencing?
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Which of the findings of pastoral conflict surprise you the most?
Session 2
Reflection Questions
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Which sources of pastoral conflict are most pertinent to your situation? Which ones are you facing currently?
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How have you traditionally thought about conflict? As a negative? A positive? To be avoided? As an opportunity?
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What unhealthy aspects of conflict seem to “hit home” for you? What healthy aspects of conflict are easier or harder for you to embrace?
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In what areas of your life or ministry could you see conflict being more of an opportunity?
Session 3
Reflection Questions
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Do you find “avoidance” to be one of your primary conflict management styles? In what instances has this worked well for you in the past? In what instances was it ultimately harmful to your ministry or leadership?
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How might your shadow side be triggering a tendency to avoid conflict?
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Do you believe you might have an unhealthy desire or tendency to “please” others? How has this impacted your ministry or leadership?
Session 4
Reflection Questions
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Do you find either “accommodation” or “compromise” to be one of your primary conflict management styles? If not, how comfortable are you with these conflict management styles?
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In what situations in the past do you believe you possibly “over”-accommodated? “Under”-accommodated? What impact did that have?
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In what situations in the past do you believe you possibly “over”-compromised? “Under”-compromised? What impact did that have?
Session 5
Reflection Questions
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Do you find either “competing” or “collaborating” to be one of your primary conflict management styles? If not, how comfortable are you with these conflict management styles?
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What takeaways do you have from the discussion of the Thomas-Kilmann conflict management model or from your personal TKI profile?
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What specific situations can you identify where you may be overusing a particular conflict management mode?
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What specific situations can you identify where you may benefit from leaning into an underdeveloped conflict management mode?
Session 6
Reflection Questions
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As you reflect, how frequently do you find yourself being passive-aggressive towards situations or towards others? What may be triggering your reactions?
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What situations do you run into where others are inappropriately passively-aggressive in their dealings with you or with others in the church? What approaches, as a leader, might you consider to address this issue moving forward?
Session 7
Reflection Questions
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Which of these conflict management processes or insights resonate most powerfully to you? Why?
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Which of these insights could you benefit from applying to a conflict situation you currently face?
Session 8
Reflection Questions
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How have your attitudes relative to conflict changed as a result of these discussions? Are you any more comfortable facing (or embracing) conflict in your ministry?
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What key takeaways can be helpful to you as you manage conflict moving forward? What new tools or approaches might you consider using?